Guardian Angel
by Arielle1
Summary: Buffy & Spike get a visit from a guardian Angel of sorts


****

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or any of the characters I just write about them. Joss Whedon owns them all.

Summery: Buffy & Spike get a visit from a guardian Angel of sorts.

Author's note: post "Once More With Feeling"

Guardian Angel

She sat by the grave stone waiting; she was waiting for a vampire to rise so she could stake it.

"Why does it always take so long?" Buffy Summers asked as she spun a stake between her palms.

"Well you know what they say." Anya Emerson said, "A watched pot never boils."

"But I'm not waiting for water to boil, I'm waiting to kill a vampire." Buffy said.

"It's pretty much the same thing." Xander Harris said.

Buffy smiled and glanced at her watch "You guys can go home if you want. You don't really have to wait with me."

"Are you sure?" Xander asked.

She nodded "Yeah I'm sure. Plus if anything were to happen you know Spike will show up."

Xander nodded "Yeah you're right. Come on Anya." He took her hand and they headed towards the gate of the cemetery "Bye Buffy."

"Bye." Anya said.

Buffy waved to her friends then leaned against a tombstone next to the new grave the vampire would be rising from soon "Come on already! I wanna go home and get more then two hours sleep tonight."

"Been waiting long huh?" Buffy looked up and saw Spike walking down the row of headstones.

"If you call all night long then yeah." She said as he stopped next to her.

He looked down at the fresh dirt "Should be rising any minute now."

"How do you know?" She asked looking at him then back at the ground.

"I can hear 'im." He stated.

Buffy nodded "Right you've got that whole vampire hearing thing." 

Spike nodded "Plus the dirt is starting to move."

Buffy looked down and sure enough the dirt by her feet was moving and in less then a minute two arms emerged from the ground. Soon the new vampire was standing in front of Buffy and Spike.

"Now lets make this quick." She said raising the stake in her hand. As she brought her arm down at the vampire he grabbed her wrist and brought his head down on hers so fast neither her nor Spike had time to react.

When Buffy was crouching on the ground the vampire pulled his leg back to kick her but Spike punched him in the face knocking him backwards over the tomb stone.

"You ok?" Spike asked grabbing Buffy's shoulder.

She pushed his hand away from her shoulder and stood up "I'm fine." She clutched the stake in her hand tight then leaped over the tombstone and landed a kick into the vampire's back as he got up off the ground. In one quick motion Buffy knelt on one knee and slammed the stake through his back then stood as the vampire turned to dust.

Without saying a word she turned and started walking in the direction of the cemetery exit.

"Where are you going?" Spike asked running up behind her.

"I slayed the vampire so now I'm going home." She said her back facing him. 

Spike got around her quickly and stood in front of her, blocking her path "Buffy we have to talk."

Buffy sighed, "No we don't."

"Buffy we kissed." Spike stated.

"So? It was one kiss." Buffy said, "It doesn't mean anything."

"Oh come on Buffy!" Spike exclaimed, "Stop denying that you didn't feel anything."

She stared into his blue eyes "The only thing I feel for you is disgust." She was taken aback slightly when she saw a flash of sadness in Spike's eyes but she continued "I will never kiss you again. Just stop! Stop following me around and interfering." Without waiting for him to answer she turned and walked away.

Spike stared after her, he wished she wouldn't be so stubborn. He knew what she really felt. He decided not to follow her but to go back to his crypt and watch some TV.

He stopped at the door to the crypt and lit a cigarette "Bloody slayer." He pushed open the door and stepped into the large stone room "Who the bloody hell does she think she is?"

"She's still stubborn?" Came an all too familiar voice from the shadows.

Spike jumped slightly and dropped the cigarette to the floor "Bloody hell! You could have given me a bloody heart attack." He stomped out the lit cigarette. 

Angel stepped out of the shadows and shook his head.

"Ya know if I were alive." Spike chuckled at his own joke "So what brings you to my lovely abode?"

Angel didn't laugh or even crack a smile "I came to talk."

Spike lowered his eyebrows "'Bout what?"

"Buffy." Angel stated.

"Why would I wanna talk about her?" Spike scoffed taking a seat on top of one of the stone tombs in the room.

"I know that you love her." Angel said, he found the look of pure shock coming over Spike's face rather amusing.

Spike's eyes widened, his mouth moved but no words came out. How had Angel found out that he loved Buffy? He hadn't seen the old sire in almost two years; there was no way that he could know "I…I do not!"

Angel smiled slightly, hearing Spike stutter was something he had never heard before "I know that you love her. And I don't doubt that you do."

"Are you gonna kill me now? For falling in love with your girl?" Spike asked.

Angel shook his head "She's not mine anymore." His brow wrinkled "I don't think she ever was."

"Well then why are you here?" Spike asked, he was terribly confused as to why Angel would come all the way to Sunnydale just to tell Spike what he already knew.

Angel looked right at Spike "You have to understand her reasons for closing herself off."

"And you know those reasons?" Spike asked, "Are you a major in Buffy 101 or something?"

"Buffy doesn't open up to just anyone." Angel said, "She has a hard time trusting people."

"Especially people of the living dead kind." Spike scoffed "She can really screw with a guys emotions ya know that."

Angel nodded "I know. But with all the things that have been going on in her life lately; everyone in her life seems to leave."

Spike glared at Angel "Like you. You were the first one to leave her."

"And I won't pretend that, that isn't one of the reasons why she has a hard time opening up to people." Angel said, "Me and her have been over that many times." An eerie silence fell over the two vampires.

"So is there anything else you wanna tell me?" Spike asked breaking the silence.

Angel nodded "Buffy died…."

Spike became angry and cut Angel off "You don't think I know that?" He practically leapt off the tomb "It almost killed me to see her lying there!" his voice was filled with emotion "I thought that I'd lost her. And I blamed myself for it!"

"I can understand how hard it was for you." Angel stated "Because it was the same for me."

Spike shook his head "No! How in the bloody hell could it have been the same? You didn't see her there after she jumped. Lying lifeless in front of you, knowing there was nothing you could do to save her. If you think it was the same for you then you better sod off."

Angel never thought Spike would react the way he just had. In all the decades he had known the vampire he had never seen him so worked up over something. Spike hadn't even become this upset when Angel had become Angelus and practically made Drusilla forget he had existed "But she was brought back." 

At this Spike's face softened as he remembered that night when he had seen her alive.

Angel went on "And now she's adjusting to being back. If anyone knows what it's like to die then come back it's you and me. So all I'm trying to say is give her time."

"Don't you think I've given her enough time?" Spike asked hotly but then his expression changed "Although I'd give her eternity."

Angel was somewhat touched by Spike's sudden change in mood. He stood from the stone tomb he had been sitting on "I'm sure someday she'll come around." He started walking towards the door.

"I really do love her." Spike stated as Angel stopped at the door.

Angel nodded "I know." He slipped out the door and was gone leaving Spike standing alone in the middle of the crypt.

***

The sound of the floor creaking brought Buffy out of her deep sleep. She slowly opened her eyes expecting to see Dawn or Willow but who she did see startled her.

In the light from the moon that creeped into the room she could see Angel standing at the foot of her bed.

"Angel?" she whispered blinking a few times to make sure she wasn't seeing things. When he didn't answer her she immediately thought the worst. Angel had somehow become Angelus again and that terrified her to the core.

"Hi Buffy." He finally said. 

Buffy let out the breath she had been holding in ever since she opened her eyes.

"I didn't mean to scare you." He apologized staring down at her.

"Oh you didn't scare me." She said sitting up.

Angel smiled "I could hear your heart beat quicken."

She reached over and turned on the lamp which cast a small curtain of light through the room "Oh yeah you would huh? So how'd you get in here?"

He cast a glance at the open bedroom window, which just happened to be on the second floor "You should really lock that window."

Buffy's cheeks flushed red "Yeah that would be a good idea huh?"

"So what's been going on?" Angel asked trying to make small talk.

She thought for a second "Oh you know the regular. Whole town turns into a musical. Everyone tells their deepest secrets."

Angel nodded "Sounds fun. Sorry I missed it." An odd silence hung between the ex lovers.

Buffy looked down at her bedspread "So what brings you here so soon after our last visit?"

Angel sat down on the edge of the bed "Something you said."

"Something I said?" She asked.

He nodded "I've been thinking about it over and over for a few weeks now and I decided the best thing to do was to come here and talk to you about it."

She couldn't think of anything he would need to talk to her about. The last time they had met they had only talked about things that were currently going on in their lives and about the whole death thing.

"It's about Spike." Angel said.

"Spike?" Buffy asked suddenly remembering what she had told Angel about him.

Angel nodded "Yeah. I'm not going to beat around the bush I'm just gonna say it. As much as I hate to admit it I have no doubt that Spike really does love you. And he is very capable of loving someone even without a soul. He loved Drusilla for decades even when she didn't return his love."

"But how?" Buffy asked.

"Just because a person doesn't have a soul that doesn't mean that they can't feel things that a person with a soul can." Angel stated "And Spike has proven that. Now I don't know how he fell in love with _you_." He paused for moment "Although I might know some things that contributed to it."

Buffy blushed again but was sure Angel hadn't seen it in the dim light.

"I understand what you're going through right now. I also had to adjust to dying then coming back….and Spike did also."

She suddenly felt guilty for the way she had been treating Spike since their kiss.

Angel took a deep breath, not because he had to but for a dramatic effect "I think that somewhere inside you there is a part of you that does have feelings for him. And maybe someday those feelings will come out. When that will happen I certainly don't know. Only you know that. But until then maybe you could try to not be so hard on him."

Buffy just stared at Angel; she had never heard him say anything like this about Spike. She doubted that he had ever said anything nice about him and she knew how this must hurt him even though she knew that he had moved on and was dealing with his own conflicting emotions for someone.

Angel looked deep into Buffy's eyes "Can you promise me that?"

Buffy's eyes roamed over his face and finally stopped on his eyes, those dark brown eyes that held decades of guilt and sadness and she knew this was something he honestly wanted her to do. She nodded "I will."

Without another word Angel stood up and turned to the window then back to Buffy "He's not all bad. Remember that." With that he slipped out the window leaving Buffy alone in the room.

She sat in her bed thinking about what Angel had said as her thoughts drifted back to the night before when her and Spike were out in the ally way next to the Bronze entrance, she thought about the kiss they had shared. She had felt something when they had kissed she couldn't deny it anymore. There had definitely been something there.

Her thoughts drifted back to when she had kissed him after Glory had beat him up, she had even felt something then. And on the night she had died when he had poured his heart out to her in the living room; she had secretly wanted to run to him and ask him to hold her make everything stop. But she didn't, she couldn't. She had, had Dawn to worry about.

Suddenly the look on his face the night she had come back from the dead flashed into her head. His soft blue eyes had been filled with shock, sadness, and love.

What stuck out the most was when she had gone to his crypt the night after she had come back and what he had said. He had told her that every night after she had died he had saved her. It hadn't counted by that time but he had still saved her, every night and in different ways.

How could she have been so blind? So stupid? Something great was staring her right in the face and she was too scared to let it in. Why was she scared? Why had she built up walls so high and so thick that not even Spike could get through them?

The reason she thought, no she knew was that she was afraid that if she let Spike in and got close to him that he would eventually leave her just like Angel and Riley had. Or worse that he'd use her like Parker had, and she couldn't let that happen again. 

She decided that she had to go see Spike now, she couldn't wait till morning, she had to do this now.

Buffy got out of bed and pulled on the jeans she had been wearing earlier, she quickly changed her shirt. As she was searching for her shoes she heard a knock on the door.

"Yeah?" she called quietly pulling a sneaker on.

The door swung open slowly and Tara poked her head in "Buffy? Where are you going?"

She thought for a moment "I have to go talk to someone."

Tara looked around the room "Was someone here?"

Buffy looked up at her and nodded "Angel was here."

"Angel? How'd he get in?" Tara asked.

"The window." Buffy said grabbing her jacket and pulling it on.

Tara stood in the doorway for a moment without saying anything until Buffy broke the silence.

"I'm going to see Spike. I have to talk to him." She told her "If Will or Dawn ask where I am can you tell them…tell them something?"

"Buffy I…Why are you going to see Spike?" Tara asked, "I don't mean to ask but…"

"I have to tell him something that I just realized." Buffy said as she walked into the hall.

Tara smiled; she could sense what Buffy had just realized. She had just realized that she had feelings for Spike after all. "Buffy."

Buffy turned at the top of the stairs "Yeah."

"I'm glad you figured it out." Tara said. Buffy and Tara stood in the hall for a moment before Buffy smiled then ran down the stairs.

Tara turned and went back into her room and crawled back in bed next to Willow.

***

Spike sat in the recliner staring at the TV, which was off. He had been sitting there since Angel had left. He still couldn't get over the fact that Angel had been there in his crypt, talking to him like they were _old_ buddies. Although it a sense they were _old_ buddies. 

How much more time could he give Buffy? He wished that she would just get over herself and admit that she had feelings for him.

"Spike!" he jumped when he heard her call his name. 

Buffy was standing at the foot of the stairs that led to the lower part of the crypt. While he had been preoccupied with his thoughts he hadn't even heard the door upstairs open.

"Can't knock?" He asked as he stood up.

She hesitated a moment before stepping away from the stairs "Angel came to see me tonight and…"

"He came to see you too?" Spike asked.

Buffy nodded "Yeah. He came to talk to me about…you. And after he left I realized something."

"He came to talk to me about you." Spike said.

"Spike! I have to say this right now. Or else I might never say it." She said.

Spike nodded "Sorry. Go on."

She took a deep breath "I realized that I've built up these walls. Walls to keep from getting hurt. I'm afraid that if I let these walls down and let anyone in then I could get hurt again. Two people I loved very deeply have just up and left me. One person I thought cared for me used me."

"Parker?" 

Buffy nodded "Yes. And I won't admit that I have feelings for you because I'm afraid that if I were to let the walls down and let you in then someday you might leave me too." She shook her head "And I don't think I could deal if some one else I love left me."

"Some one else you love?" Spike asked.

Buffy nodded "I realized it the night I died. When you stood in my living room and poured your heart out to me, but I couldn't let you know then because I had to save Dawn." 

Tears came to Spike's eyes as he remembered that night "When I saw you lying there I…I broke down like a bloody baby. I felt responsible and it killed me."

Buffy had never known that he had cried, "Then after I came back when you said that every night you saved me. I knew then that you still loved me. That while I was dead you didn't move on to someone else. And I knew then that I loved you but I couldn't tell you. I had to get readjusted to being here, from being taken away from heaven."

"I couldn't move on. When you love someone just because they die you can't move on." He said.

"And last night." She said, "If you hadn't of stopped me I would have burned. I couldn't stop dancing. I saw the love in your eyes when you stopped me. But then you left. I thought I was gonna lose you before I could tell you how I really felt. That's why I followed you."

"How do you explain tonight?" Spike asked, "You blew me off."

She shook her head "I was afraid. But when Angel came to me tonight he said he had no doubt that you really did love me. That's when I knew that you would never leave me."

"Never." Spike said "I could never cause you pain. I'd never want you to feel the pain I felt when I thought you'd left me."

Buffy smiled "Now that all that's out." She looked into his deep blue eyes "What's next?"

"Only thin' I can think of." Spike said as he slid his arms around her waist "Is this." He lowered his head and kissed her passionately.

Buffy responded by wrapping her arms around his neck. She opened her mouth slightly and pressed her tongue against his. He slid one hand up her back and ran his fingers through her hair. She moaned into his mouth and her heart raced, she ran one hand through his hair and kept the other on his cheek. He could feel her heart beating through her chest and he knew it was beating faster because of him.

Buffy pulled away after a moment and stared into his eyes "You make me feel safe."

Spike stared down at her "You do?" No one had ever felt safe with him.

She nodded "Yes. I know now that you would never hurt me or let anyone one else hurt me."

He smiled and placed his hands on her face then covered her lips with his. 

That night they became one. They were joined now. They would always be together.

****

The End


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